Left-handed pen scribble. Maybe, my non-dominant hand has something different to say? (And also my right hand is exhausted from the comic lol)
I had a bad day yesterday. Lots of despair…
Today was rough. I got out of the shower and I had these thoughts… realization I didn’t like anyone in my life enough to stick around. I just don’t care about anyone that much.
Spending time in the graveyard of buried memories, I realized how much my trust has been violated time and time again. Am I the reason? Is it something about me?
Doesn’t matter. I lost hope yesterday. It was brutal – all I could think about was putting my affairs in order so that Rich wouldn’t have to be put through what I’ve been through. I might do this anyway. Then I cried about myself thinking that way. lol
Is this depression? I don’t get it. I am loved, I am eating way better, exercising regularly, taking vitamins daily, why am I still depressed? Why do I still want to rip my own flesh off sometimes? Do I hate living? Do I hate myself that much?
What the hell is wrong with me.
April 26
I wanted to capture this feeling. Also, all good artists have a few self portraits floating around am I right? I kinda thought using my left hand, it would come out angsty, jagged, and broken. I almost decided to go that direction with it anyway… but turns out my left hand thinks I look pretty pleasant and neutral this morning. lol
So, okay – you win this round, leftie. I’ll keep going for now. <3