Down the rabbit hole we go.
I don’t know if I can take it. All the feelings about my brother and my sorry excuse for a life. I have this strong feeling to do something drastic, impulsive, dangerous, leave or have sex with someone who will abuse me … and if I don’t soon I might just kill myself instead. My husband will be gone for a week soon… so there’s opportunity.
I’m not self harming, or smoking pot or drinking – I just want to run away – I just don’t want this life anymore it’s so worthless without my brother… without safety or security or love…. none of it matters.
I just want never ending sleep.