When I was 17 I dated a “priest in training” of a local episcopal church who also worked part time at the sleep number store. I can’t even remember his name right now, just his online handle from where I met him in a chat room. I had just broken up with someone.. I don’t remember that either. I think it was after David the older guy and after Casey another guy I dated for a short period of time.
This guy was around 24. He lived in Topeka. I remember it was over the summer of my junior/senior year in high school.
You know what I wanted to do that summer/school year? I wanted to work at an arts and crafts store that summer. I went for an interview for the job and I apparently got it. I would have loved that. Except that I never knew that I got the job because they called my house and my mom answered and told them I didn’t want it. She told them I needed to focus on school. I just assumed they never called me back… and years later she told me the truth. My parents have a habit of lying to me about things and telling me later. Thats how my first dog “disappeared” and never returned.
So this summer, I met a guy online. I drove out to see him almost every weekend for a couple of months. One weekend towards the end of this saga I actually got “caught” by my parents (I wasn’t where I was supposed to be) and I remember going home crying and getting pulled over by a cop for having my car’s head light’s turned off at night. I was in tears and the cop let me go with a warning. I continued my drive back home terrified I was going to get beat when I got there. I actually don’t remember how that night ended; I just remember some arguing.
But anyway, most of the time I visited this guy we had sex. I actually don’t even think he liked me very much he just wanted to have sex with anyone and I was easy. One time, I spent the night and I went to church the next day with him and watched him preach to his flock. It was weird. Old ladies everywhere.
Alone he was controlling and bordering on rude but up in front of people; completely different. Charming and smooth and in love with the sound of his own voice.
One night he wanted to try anal sex so I let him because I always let men do whatever they wanted to me. The next day I was in so much pain and had bloody stool and for a few days after that. I didn’t know what to do; but eventually it stopped.
He liked having sex with me while I was on my period too; something of a religious experience to him, blood of Christ shit, who fucking knows. And sometimes he liked to smother me with a pillow while having sex.
One day he called me crying. He told me he thought that God would punish him for everything he’d been doing with me. I felt really bad; and calmed him down and told him that wasn’t the case and made him feel better.
A week after that he “broke up” with me and told me he was going to be moving out of state. He was cold and distant like I was a stranger.
I don’t know why my parts brought this up tonight. They just did.
So there it is.