Broken, broken, broken…
Silent: You will always be broken… don’t you understand? Stop putting yourself through this, just hide in the basement and withdraw like me… its cold and lonely sometimes…but at least it’s safe…
Host: I’ve put a wall up. You need to get your shit together and you’re clearly falling apart. We need to block everyone and every emotion out.. that’s what’s best. Sorry if it causes confusion but that’s got to be the way it’s got to be. You keep diving in without supervision and coming back up with shit you’re probably not ready for… why are you doing this to yourself?
Jesi: I don’t know, I just feel so lost. I feel like.. I can’t be a whole person without getting it all out…
Darkness: I don’t know, man… I’m staying out of all this… Deviant being here in her, uh… current state.. *coughs* gives me the mega creeps… it means they are here too…… yikes.
Little: Why do you guys always leave me alone when mom hides?
Host: Heh. Lot of reasons. Mainly that your instincts are more based on curiosity than the others which can be disarming to people. People are generally nicer to kids…but if I’m being really honest? I don’t need to exercise control over you like the others.. you’re not going to cause any irreparable damage, are you little one?
Little: but I don’t like being up front by myself. This world is weird…and I don’t understand things and no one is around to explain. It was really scary yesterday, I had to wait and wait and wait for mom to come back so she could take me home… and i didn’t think she’d ever come back and we were going to be stuck by ourselves forever. :'(
Jesi: I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m so worried I have all these mental health issues and that I’ll never be normal and I’m doomed to just act like a complete psycho and push everyone away. I hate that people think I’m completely normal and on the inside I feel like a festering wound. I feel like I’m being driven into a mental breakdown.. but I don’t want anyone’s help because.. I know I’m broken and no one can fix it or make it any better. I am really doubting I’ll ever make sense of it all… it’s overwhelming and I just end up hating myself because I’m stuck w/ my mind the way it is… Host is right, it can’t hurt if we don’t feel or remember anything or anyone. That’s what I want. Robot me is what people want.. she’s calm and straightforward and easy for people to get along with… unflappable… unresponsive…basically empty. That facade is all this world needs from me… the rest of me is defective…. trash.
Host: *sigh* This is what I’m saying.. wall is good for now.. I was always in favor of walling it all off.
AC: Honestly the wall helps me focus.. so it’s also fine w/ me. Not that anyone’s asking….
Jesi: I don’t hate you guys but… I hate DID…this is all in my head.. just making it all up. I give up. Let’s just go back to unfeeling… I don’t want to care about anything.. or anyone anymore… none of it matters…
Silent: Sorry, just telling the truth.
Jesi: Why is it so hard to breathe?