I wrote a post earlier today… something she wrote and then I deleted it because she doesn’t deserve space here. And also I’m embarrassed of how completely broken I am.
I just tied a rope around my neck and tested it’s strength where it would hang. I choked myself for a bit. It felt good. Better than I thought. I have a feeling the real thing will be a lot worse. I know I should feel ashamed for this but I don’t care.
That’s where I am today. It’s not all that surprising. I knew I’d make it back here one day. And likely I’ll get the job done some day. I don’t even care.
If this is my life? Alters and abuse and endless requests from people… I don’t really care. I looked up the laws in my state. R would get everything. With everything I’ve saved he’ll be fine. That’s all I care about. I need to explain to the twins tho… or maybe I don’t.
I don’t owe anyone anything.