triggers. migraine. close my eyes to avoid light. Close my eyes… and flashbacks.. painful realistic flashbacks reminding me that no one cared. Feels like now.
I can’t even feel arroused without crying now. Without feeling gross. Is this what you wanted me to see? This is what you wanted for me?
More pain. Physical, emotional… No one cares. Stop complaining. Coming to terms with the feeling that I am worthless… I feel it with you. It’s okay. It’s fine.
I can’t wait to be.. released from all of this suffering. I think it will be nice.
Back to pain for now.
Head… Thoughts foggy… Face hurts. Neck hurts. Heart hurts. Everything feels hopeless. Why would I ask for help?
I’m not worthy of it. Women are not here for anything but to be pleasure holes and punching bags. That’s all. Just accept it. You’ll feel better once you stop fighting your true purpose. Leave everything behind and just give in… let them take you. Then it’ll be over soon. Isn’t that what you want?
… please make it stop.
cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut. cut.
Don’t tell anyone anymore. Don’t talk to anyone anymore. They all find you irritating and a burden. Shut the fuck up and never talk to anyone about any of this ever again.
Be quiet.