It’s all I feel right now and I don’t know why. EP stepping up I guess. I think sometimes when I feel like I’ve put myself a little too out there…revealed too much of myself… like in my blogposts recently… or emails… or messages to friends… there’s an overwhelming sense of anxiety and dread. Like revealing too much is dangerous… I probably said something wrong. My heart is on a platter and I don’t know what people really think of me now. What if i said something wrong?
I think people will leave me. Everyone hates me. I am struggling to breathe lately.. asthma worse for some reason. Im terrified of being alone because no one is there to protect me…
But that is the truth. You are alone. Don’t you remember? You have to take care of yourself, defend yourself, live isolated because people are not safe – haven’t you seen enough? haven’t you experienced enough? Get used to being alone – it’s what you will always endure. You cant really count on people, but you can count on being alone.
Dont feel bad that no one likes you. You’re still welcome here, even though some of us hate you too. Just shut up, dont make any noise, become invisible, and no one will hurt you. That’s the best you can hope for – you should just be quiet all day tomorrow. You don’t really deserve to talk. Nothing you say has any value and you just say the wrong things anyway.
Ok 😔