I am struggling to find words today. I guess we don’t feel particularly safe to express ourselves right now. It hurts too much. Every time I think about reaching out, I get teary eyed and sad and scared and can’t think of what to say. I don’t even understand my feelings right now, at all. I feel mute, even inside. I had to push myself something fierce to put this post together…
But um… we wanted to make additions to this painting for.. you. Some part thought you might like it.
Maybe.. rejected? Is that the feeling? I’m not sure.. can’t seem to find my voice today. My feelings are clouded by this thick fog of insecurity and depression. Maybe it’ll pass later, maybe not. It feels weird to have parts that are wounded, angry, scared, remorseful, shameful, apologetic, and loving all at the same time. And it’s why I can’t figure out what to say right now… but.. this is the picture they chose to share, so take that for what you will.