Finally broke down and went to the doc. They gave me drugs lol, tramadol (narcotic) and some barbiturates for the road. Did you know tramadol has anti-depressant effects too? After I got home, I tried to keep working. But it was tough through all the brain fog and I ended up crashing on my office couch and trying to fit in a short nap.
My cat, Fox, joined me. And you know I actually fell asleep without pain for about 45 min? I woke with a start thinking I’d slept too long… and then I I slowly realized my neck didn’t hurt much at all upon waking and that’s the first time in over a month. I almost cried and then out of no where – a suggestion, like an echo on the dark cold winds inside the void…
Just take all of it. You’ll never be in pain again… It would be so easy….
An intrusive thought with real intent behind it… it terrified me. But at the same time, I get it, it felt so, so, good to have a moment of relief from pain. I guess a part of me just wanted it to never end. Now that I’m awake, I can feel the tension and nausea creeping back in.
I’m so tired… of everything.
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Update. Finally able to get an appt. with my chiropractor. She adjusted me in ways she’s never done before. lol There was immediate relief followed by some soreness to be expected, but I’m hoping this will end the migraine saga. Going to take a bit more of my pain meds and hope tomorrow brings a better day.
I want to get back to working out, I want to start running again, I just want to be able to get through the week like a damn normal person.