∞

What a fantastic life.

Anyone would be happy to have my life. It’s pretty great. I wish I gave a shit. I oscillate between being happy and wanting to do cool shit and not caring at all because the rest is so very painful. The snapback off and on is daily now and it hurts so very much.

And something about realizing almost every male relationship I’ve ever had ended in violence or abuse, or heartbreak is pretty telling. I struggled to cultivate female relationships because I felt so very different. I actually love doing things for people, I used to love people and making them happy. But I’m real tired. Real tired.